Un uomo chiamato cavallo cinese

Chi sono? Io, Jasper L. Thompson, blogger?
Cerco di scoprirlo attraverso il più antico metodo di associazione zoologica e divinazione figurata, l'Oroscopo Cinese; su internet ci sono innumerevoli siti che offrono la possibilità di calcolare l'anno e il conseguente segno astrologico Cinese. Ecco i risultati:

www.12chinesezodiacsigns.com : Cavallo (Bing-Hu)

www.chinesezodiachoroscope.com : Cavallo

www.horoscope.co.uk/chinese_index.htm : Serpente (di legno)

www.chinese-tools.com/astrology/sign.html : Cavallo (马)

www.chinatoday.com/culture/zodiac/zodiac.htm: Cavallo

www.astrologizeme.com/chinese_sign_us.php : Cavallo

www.locketown.com/chinese_horoscope.htm : Cavallo

www.chinesezodiac.com : Cavallo

www.astrology.com : Cavallo

www.tuvy.com/entertainment/horoscope : Cavallo

www.rainfall.com/horoscop/chinese.htm : Serpente

Infine, secondo www.chinesehoroscopeonline.com sono nato nell'anno del Cavallo Rosso o di Fuoco (maschio), nel mese del Topo Bianco di ferro (maschio) e nel giorno del Cane Nero d'acqua (maschio). Immagino che fosse l'ora del Pollo (maschio), ma questa è solo una mia ipotesi scientifica. Dunque, benché dall'ultima volta che mi sono interessato all'argomento -nel millennio passato- abbia sempre pensato di essere un Serpente (di legno) la percentuale equina mi pare abbastanza schiacciante per dichiararmi ufficialmente Cavallo. In senso Cinese.

Strano ri-scoprirlo proprio oggi, quando per una serie di circostanze mi trovo a dover recapitare un involucro sospetto ad un amico di vecchia data... Strano, come tutto, se non consideriamo il paradigma del Falso...

But let's face the facts, according to the Chinese traditional astrology:

Horses are very capable of hard work, independent and intelligent. However, they can sometimes be very selfish. -- defiant, condescending, unscrupulous, anxious, moody, excessively pragmatic, opportunistic, hard-nosed, self-serving and so obtuse as to seem to have gone both blind and deaf at once -- Horse people are extemporaneous and quick-witted. They are quite intelligent and use their practicality to their advantage in their business and personal lives. Their sharpness makes them quick to pick up new skills and are able to handle many tasks at one time. However, this ambition can be harmful because Horse people often don't finish what they start for fear of missing out on the next big challenge.

Horses are trustworthy, friendly and open-minded. They are good friends to have and will always be honest with you. Although they are good confidants, Horse people do enjoy their alone time and are usually independent people. They can struggle with obstinance and self-centeredness, which can lead to a flare of the temper if they don't get their way. Usually, after an episode or temper-tantrum a Horse can feel remorse, yet not all people will be able to forgive their reaction. The Fire Horse is animated and sociable. He has a wild side that leads him to a life on the edge. Fire Horses are generally either incredibly lucky or ridiculously unlucky. They love the excitement of action and the change it brings. The Fire element makes them passionate about their feelings and they always take a stand in a situation. Fire Horses are never on the fence about anything and have definitive opinions about the world. Their tempers can be overbearing.

Nevertheless:

HORSE year people are popular and hard workers. They have financially sound minds and are adept at handling money matters. Whether male or female, Horse personalities feel more comfortable in the company of their own kind. They are independent and self-willed individuals who never take advice. Horse people should choose a field as a dentist, financier, banker, or politician.

And again:

The fire is always burning inside Fire Horses. They love living on the edge and are always ready for change as change always is more interesting. They are incredibly opinionated and one place you’ll never find Fire Horses is standing on the fence.

Some clues from www.tuvy.com:

Horse people have a balance of the best kind of qualities. Have you ever seen a wild horse on the beach, with flying mane and flaring nostrils, every muscle bursting with life and je ne sais quois? Without a doubt, the Horse is the standard for grace, strength, rhythm and nobility. They have an amazing capacity for hard work. As a result, they know great success and financial security in their lifetimes. Often quite ostentatious, they enjoy being with large crowds and always seek out the grand and magnificent. They need people and have a weakness for those of the opposite sex. You can often find Horses at concerts, music festivals, and the Super Bowls of life.

Parsley Soup and Ginger Root are among the keys to good health!!

Through all the moons of many a year, the Fire Horse is a dynamic creature, with a vigor that promises youth and freshness until the very end of life. The will and the spirit of the Fire Horse cannot be broken. This Horse goes through life with philosophical patience and the ability to bounce back from adversity no matter how dire the circumstances. In times of solitude, Fire Horses also have an insatiable need for intellectual stimulation and they satisfy their curiosity for learning through reading, listening, conversing, and travel abroad. Fire Horses make inspiring leaders, revered and respected. They encourage their subordinates with kindness and just the right degree of strictness and work well with people in all stations of life. Financial rewards fall in the middle ground, not too bad, not terrific, but always comfortable. Being in love with the Fire Horse brings pure rapture. These noble Horses are generous with their love, with hugs and kisses. Loved ones always know where they stand because Fire Horses demonstrate every day through their actions the love they feel deep within. Each day is a soft and tender love poem

Yea, ginger is good, but you'll NEVER find me at the superbowl; in fact, you'll hardly find me out of this blog. Anyways, now I know what I really am, a Houyhnhnms myself, that's why I love them so much; and I also know what to do just after I finished reading this stuff: run!

P.S.: Feels like I'll always feel a Houyhnhnms in a world of Yahoos.